Micro-Reviewery 8: Randy and the RN’s, Horizon Chase OST, Red Wolf, PETFSB




Randy and The RN’s – Deezius Maximus

This one man indie pop sounds noisier and snottier than Weezer would ever want to be, but it gives everything a fringe edge. The lumbering “Karma Magnet” is my favorite, with abrasively jangling guitars providing a sweet steel wool bed for the whining summer melodies. Still, if the tempo’s were slightly sped up, Randy could probably shave a minute off every song and make them infinitely cooler.


Please Eat the Fucking Sandwich Bitch – 2

While this claims to be black metal, cybergrind, and post-rock, it’s really just FL Studios-core. No vocals, no cool melodies, no creativity, and a ton of that awful processed guitar sound. PETFSB’s mom probably tells him this stuff is super creative because she has little knowledge of underground music. Jay Decay of 50 Ways to Kill Me was making GOOD music like this back in the early 2000s, and all his music’s free here. Download his stuff and bang your head, forget eating a fucking sandwich or being called please bitch.



Barry Leitch – Horizon Chase Official Soundtrack

In a continuing effort to validify iPhone games, Horizon Chase developers knew they needed a booty-bustin’ veteran game musician. They got Barry Leitch, the Scottish man who crafted totally radical tunes for the Rush arcade series and Top Gear. While Rush was more about drum ‘n’ bass trash, the latter was all awesomeness and Leitch channels its power to great effect here. What’s funny is that despite retro chiptune junk being crammed down our throats for years, Horzion Chase is obviously crafted by a man who understands it, making a soundtrack that betters most loving memories of F-Zero and OutRun 2019. Some of the remixes tacked on are a little drab, but otherwise this is a classy effort.



Red Wolf – Hell is Other People

What the fuck is this? Red Wolf is evidently a poet, but do self-respecting poets normally appropriate famous Jean-Paul Sartre-isms for their album titles? Most writers probably wouldn’t slap a “Rated R” tag on tracks either, although most wouldn’t produce drivel like “My hands moving up your thighs/Into your ass my fingers now pry”. Sometimes there’s backing music, largely GarageBand pre-sets. His voice randomly spikes into an overtly distorted mess, as though the Wolf-man bought a computer microphone at the gas station. If that’s all the guy can afford, I’m surprised he can get anyone to “suck on [his] balls…/until [they’re] raping [Red Wolf] with [their] tongue”.